Big Time Little Piggies
by bebo9147
Summary: My random one-shot for 'Semi Official One Shot Day 2013'. It's kinda like a parody to 'The Three Little Pigs'


~ Welcome to my 'Semi Offical One-Shot Day 2013' one-shot BTR fic! I hope ya'll enjoy it! And no... I honestly do not know how I came up with this :) ~

Once upon a time in a land across the seas, a magical land where you can make dreams come true, lived four boys. Their names were James Diamond, Carlos Garcia, Kendall Knight and Logan Mitchell. They lived in a wonderful palace that could also be called a hotel, called The Palmwoods. They moved here when a special wizard who's occupation is a record producer held special try outs in a small land called Minnesota. James' dream was to be an amazing singer. His friends helped him get to this try out. But Gustavo Rouque, our record producing wizard didn't think his vocal skills were skilled enough. So he decided to be mean ((like he usually is)) and reject him. Now, Gustavo isn't the villain in this fairy tale, just for your information. But James' friend, the brave Kendall Knight defended him with a special song called; 'The Giant Turd Song'.

Gustavo accepted Kendall's magical song, bringing him to this magical land called Los Angles. Kendall was kind at heart, and didn't want to leave without his friends. So he made a deal with Gustavo to take James, Carlos, Logan and himself.

They all lived with Kendall's mother, Jennifer Knight and Kendall's sister, Katie Knight. After three years, Jennifer couldn't take it anymore.

Our story starts on a beautiful sunny day in California. The four boys of the music group, Big Time Rush were playing roller hockey in their apartment. They had pushed all the couches and tables away too make room. They put two nets as goals to play. They played 'Shorties' vs 'Tallies'. In the middle of their amazing game, an angry Jennifer Knight ran out.

"That's it! You guys must go talk to Bitters and get your own apartments! I'll help pay for them, but please, just, get out. I do love you guys... It's just too much..." Jennifer said pleadingly. The nodded, understanding the situation.

The boys packed their bags when they stood in the lounge room.

"You guys forgot theeeessee..." Katie mused handing them all individual paper bags. They opened the bags and groaned.

"Seriously?" They asked in sync. She nodded then walked away.

Because their suit cases were to full and they were too lazy to carry the bags, they decided to wear what was in them. There were pink piggy ears, a strap on pink piggy snout and a thin pink belt with a twirly tail on the end of it.

"Bitters!" Kendall yelled from the front desk. Reginald jumped up wearing a wolf suit. The guys gave the fat man an awkward and confused glance.

"What? I'm supposed to be filming a commercial later today. Camille suggested I get into character..." He said to ease them of confusion.

"Oh-kay? Anyway... We need to buy our own apartments..." Kendall said softly.

"If I give you apartments will you leave me alone?" He asked. The boys nodded. "Who's paying for it?" He asked typing in the computer.

"Jennifer Knight..." Kendall answered. Reginald nodded then handed out room keys.

"You all get a certain amount of nights each because I had to split the money up from your apartment now because you already pay extra- anyway... Carlos, you'll have to stay in your apartment for one night. James, you'll be in your's for two... Kendall's is three then Logan gets four nights..." He said as he stuffed a French fry that was sitting in a small container next to his computer into his mouth.

"What! Why does Logan get four nights?" James and Carlos yelled. Reginald rolled his eyes and threw them the keys.

"Also, there's no doors to theese apartments. I got you the cheapest ones. Logan also gets more night's because the four apartments you guys get are being renovated over that time... Carlos' will be first, then James and you get it, right?" Reginald said with no emotions.

"Got it..." The guys said feeling unenthusiastic. They only get four night's in their own apartments, then they have to go back to Ms. Knight. What was the whole point of living alone if that was gonna happen?

Everyone made their way to their apartments. When they got there they realised Bitters was legit about the rooms not having doors. So they all set out to buy doors or something to use as doors. Luckily the apartments were furnished.

Carlos built a door from sticks he found scattered across Palm Woods Park. He felt proud of his door. He installed it in the door way then pushed it softly to walk in.

James built his door out of a cardboard box he found in his apartment. Because it was only two days he didn't care if someone burst in. If it was a cute girl he'd be fine with it, but if it was a creepy old guy he'd dash to the pool.

Kendall was slightly smarter about his door and he went to the shops and bought an old wooden door. He got a really old one for $49.99 in an old warehouse. Kendall didn't know how to install a door though, so it kinda hung from the hinges.

Finally, Logan's apartment's door. He put a lot if effort into getting a wooden door that had a handle with a lock on it. Logan installed it properly and he felt proud. Unlike James, he didn't want someone to walk into his apartment. Unlike Kendall he knew how to install the door, and unlike Carlos, he didn't wanna use sticks. He's a lot smarter then that.

The first night was up and Reginald was ready to evict our first piggy. The guys totally forgot they were still wearing the pig ears, snout and tail.

Reginald didn't want to knock on the door, because he didn't want to break it and make a mess. He could see Carlos eating chocolate with the piggy accessories on.

"Little pig, little pig, let me in..." Reginald said threw the door. Carlos jumped up and ran to look threw the sticks.

"Not by the hairs on my chiny chin chin..." Carlos said when he saw Reginald in a wolf suit. "Why are you still wearing that?" Carlos asked.

"It won't come off... Anyway, if you don't get out right now, and let me in... I'll... I'll..." He took in a deep breath to hold back his erupting sneeze. He huffed, and puffed trying to hold back that one sneeze that tickles the inside if the bridge of his nose. He felt something tickle up his body and reach his mouth. "I'll *huff* *puff* ACHOO!" He sneezed. The door of sticks broke down. Carlos watched the sticks scatter every where.

"I'll knock your house down..." He said wiping his nose.

"Well you just knocked down my door so... Buh bye!" Carlos yelled running next door and into James' apartment. He closed the cardboard door then slid down the wall panting. James looked up from his hand mirror and sighed.

"Bitters evict you?" He predicted. Carlos nodded throwing his helmet on. His little ears stuck up through the holes in his helmet.

On the second day Reginald walked to James' apartment. He remembered seeing the guys with their piggy accessories on during the day. He thought they were playing a stupid game. The guys saw Reginald couldn't get his wolf suit off, so they thought the same thing.

"Little pigs, little pigs, let me in..." He said loudly threw the door. The girl in the apartment behind him opened her door an threw a show at him.

"Shhh... The baby... Finally... Sleeping..." She said. The woman had bags under her eyes and she looked really stressed. She closed her eyes and fell back into her apartment, asleep. Her door shut for her really hard, creating a slam. When it slammed shut, the sound if a baby crying erupted and a female lazy groan.

Reginald rolled his eyes and looked at the cardboard door.

"We won't let you in by the hair on our chiny chin chins!" James and Carlos yelled in sync.

"Then I'll-" he stopped to itch his nose. "There's something I'm allergic to out here..." He said angrily. "But I am not huffing or puffin again..." He said with a sneeze. He expected the cardboard door to fall down, but instead it stood still in it's place. He started laughing for no reason, and held his hand out to fall on the wall.

The paw from his wolf suit made contact with the cardboard door, making it fall into the apartment. Carlos and James' eyes widened as they ran out of the apartment. Kendall didn't have a lock on his door, so they ran into hi apartment to see Kendall wrapping tape around a hockey stick.

"You got evicted?" Kendall asked. The two boys slid down the wall and nodded their heads.

The third day rolled around, as did Bitters in his wolf costume. He still couldn't get it off. Kendall took the piggy ears out of his hair and moved his hand to unbuckle his belt. He was sick if wearing the piggy costume.

"NO! Keep those on!" Carlos and James yelled. Kendall moved his hand away from the buckle and clipped the ears into his hair.

"Why?" Kendall asked.

"Because Bitters is playing the three little pigs. He's wearing his wolf costume, and we're in piggy ones... He's evicting us from our apartments by saying; 'Little pigs, little pigs, let me in...' Doesn't that seem odd?" James stated.

"Well... Yeah..." Kendall admitted falling for Carlos game like James did.

"Exactly. That why we need to wear the piggy stuff..." Carlos stated.

Reginald walked to Kendall's apartment. He didn't pay attention to the fact Kendall's door wasn't connected to its hinges, so he knocked on the door. When he did, it fell to the ground.

"Little pigs, litt-"

"Shaddup... We're leaving..." Kendall said grabbing James and Carlos. He held their wrists and walked out. Before leaving, Carlos made snorting pig noises in Reginald's ear.

Kendall knocked on Logan's door, and was greeted by Logan in a lab coat.

The last and final day of the guys vein in their own apartment, day four, came as quickly as... I got nothin... Anyway, the guys were chilling, doing their own thing when Reginald knocked on the door.

"Little pigs, little pigs, let me in!" He yelled.

"Not by the hair on our chiny chin chins!" The guys yelled.

"Then I'll huff! And I'll puff! And I'll blow this door down!" Reginald yelled.

"You can try..." Logan stated. The guys stood by the door and watched. Reginald huffed and puffed and tried to blow the door down. "... But you'll never-" Logan trailed off when a bright red line burnt through the door. The door fell revealing Reginald who was holding a blowtorch.

"MAMA KNIGHT!" Carlos, James and Logan yelled. Kendall yelled the same just leaving out the 'Knight' part. They ran away from the man dressed as a we and back home. Jennifer was slightly surprised but didn't care.

"DOGS!" Gustavo yelled kicking down the door. The guys sighed.

"Yes?" They asked flopping down on the couch.

"Studio... Now!" He yelled.

"And we thought Bitters was the big bad wolf..." Carlos said under his breath.

"I HEARD THAT!" Gustavo and Reginald yelled. Reginald stood next to Gustavo.

"Guys take off the piggy accessories, we need to go now..." Kelly stated. They grinned and took off the piggy stuff then ran out to the limo that awaited them.

~ I hope you enjoyed! I know it's not much, and I know it's random but meh, I don't care :) Xoxo ~


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